Log in

Sun, Apr. 15th, 2007, 06:19 pm
Making the right choices

How do I get to the point where I am confident with the decisions I am making regarding the welfare of my child? These first 2 months have been easy- now, with his 2 month appointment and vaccines coming up, I'm going crazy with doubt. I want to get him vaccinated, I'm just not sure if I like how many vaccines they do all at once. I'm afraid to make the wrong the choice. I'm afraid I'll never be okay with whatever choice I make.

And this is only just the beginning. I've always had a problem with trusting myself, so how can I trust that I can make the right choices for my son regarding ANY issue? I know that everyone makes mistakes, but if over the next 18 or so years of Keegan's life, I freak like this over every single decision, that won't be good for him (or me!) either. I never had to worry about any of this with Jayden, because while I can have opinions on what is best for her, I ultimately can not make those decisions.

The first choice I had to make for him was to keep him intact or to cut him- I am super confident in my decision with that, but I wonder if that is the last time I will ever feel that way.

I have a problem with assertiveness as well- so how am I supposed to step up and defend and ask questions regarding the care of my son when I am so uncomfortable asserting myself to people in authority (doctors, even daycare workers) or anyone I don't trust 100% of the time? I think the only person I am truly assertive with all the time is my husband.

I guess I just have to figure it out, somehow.

Sun, Apr. 15th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC)

I think you already know this but a lot of those vaccines they give work off of one another and that is why they give them all at once. Just get the vaccines because it beats the hell out of having to pay out shitloads of medical bills if you do not.

I know you have always had issues dealing with people in authority but I think you are going to make the right choices here. I am going to say that you need to get these vaccines done and leave it at that. If you need anything call me.

Sun, Apr. 15th, 2007 10:50 pm (UTC)

I haven't heard that they work off each other. When we were kids, we got DTAP and Polio at 2 months. Now, it's like DTAP, Hep B, HiB, pneumococcal, rotavirus, polio. That's alot all at once at such a young age. I am absolutely getting him vaccinated, it just seems to me like that many vaccines could overload a child's immune system. Oh, and rotavirus is only a year old, and is a vaccine against gastroenteritis. That we're not getting, it's too new, there were major problems with the first version of it, and he's not going to die from it in a developed nation like the US where we have access to medical care.

Also, I'm concerned about my decision-making ability for ANYTHING...I was just using the upcoming vaccine stuff as an example. I am terrible at asserting myself. I don't know how to say no if sometimes I don't want a certain person holding my son, and I feel like I still have to ASK to take MY SON back from the person who's holding him. That's a big problem, and I don't know how to face it.

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 02:53 am (UTC)

I agree wholeheartedly with vaccinations. But even if I didn't, I have faith that you know what is best for you and your child. I know it can be hard to make decisions and feel good about them, but I think this gets a little easier with time. And I think you're doing amazing!

The assertiveness is tough... I struggle with that, too. I'll let you know when I figure out what works for me. :)

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC)

I have had many the problems with being assertive in the past...and I think it is something you learn gradually. I have done well with taking it a few steps at a time and I think you will get there!! =)

Thu, Apr. 19th, 2007 02:24 am (UTC)

I know that you will always make what you feel is the best decision for Keegan. Will it always be in hindsight? No, but that's how life is. Will you screw up so badly that he will want nothing to do with you as an adult? Never, you're too good a person to do that. And you know I have the same problems with assertiveness as you do, but it gets easier as you are forced to do it more often, which you are with a child. You just have to take baby steps.